My "boyfriend" isn't getting me anything for Christmas: Rude or Understandable?
It's been a minute, but between school, work, and my social life, I've had my hands full. But now that the semester's over and Christmas is here, I have some to gab. Let's get it in.
I love the holidays. The department stores full of ornate decorations and desperate price slashing, the people full of holiday joy and winter depression, the radio saturated with Christmas music and charitable give-aways-- I love it!! However, I've never really had a man during Christmas...hmm, or any holiday, really lol. And whenever I get close to it, it ends in trifling disaster.
Christmas '04: I was long distance dating this thug dude from Philly while I was away at college. I thought I liked my men with that aggressive, ghetto appeal, but little did I know that sometimes ghetto doesn't mean edgey- it just means triflin. I grew so unattracted to him that when I came home for my winter break, I avoided calling or hanging out with him. 2 days before Christmas, he gave me some kind of ultimatum- I think it was either to travel to the hood to see him, or to just break things off. I wasn't riskin my bourgie life gettin to the projects alone, so I ended the fling and my chances at a Christmas gift.
Christmas '05: After my thug phase, suddenly I desired the opposite- a classy, intelligent, upwardly mobile young man. Ironically, I found him on A4a. A Caribbean undergrad at one of the most prestigious small liberal arts schools in the country, he ideally quenched my lust for West Indians and overachievers. As we progressed through the "talking" stage, our relationship was amusingly competitive and snarky, like most of my romantic dealings with men end up being. I thought things were cool...until on Christmas eve, after a silly back-and-forth on instant messenger, he replied, "You know what? Maybe I'm not man enough or smart enough or cute enough to ever satisfy you. Have a great life." As you can imagine, I was shocked and appalled...and traumatized. I was infuriated that he chose Xmas eve of all the nights to do this, tactlessly ruining my holiday. We're friends now, sometimes when I think about the nerve of him on that night...ugh!!
Chistmas '06: I aint have no man
And now, we come to Christmas 07: I have a boyfriend! ...Kind of. I am dating this Haitian guy (I still have a thing for West Indians) who's a chemical engineer(and for overachievers lol). We've known each other for a year, and we've been dating for about 6 months, albeit casually and without commitment. At first I hated our arrangement, but as my social life grows in fabulousness, I've grown to appreciate the freedom I have. He's kind of weird...but that's what I get for dating a nerd, huh? lol But his weirdness has extended to affect the sanctity of Christmas, and that's where I draw the line!!!
His birthday is on Christmas day. And because he regards it as HIS day, he doesn't believe in getting anyone any gifts. "Would you buy other people gifts on YOUR birthday?" he asked. "Your birthday is supposed to be the one day where all you do is receive."
...Yeah, is it just me, or is that line of reasoning totally weird? Not to mention a tad bit selfish and possibly even cheap. Is it that crucial that one's birthday be ALL about them and nobody else? Should I be offended that he's not getting me anything, even though he's receiving something from me?
I *do* feel obligated to get him something- I bought a Coach leather wallet and a 3 month-subscription to Netflix- because he fixed me an elaborate surprised birthday dinner from scratch. But part of me wonders...is he gettin away with murder on Christmas day?
I love the holidays. The department stores full of ornate decorations and desperate price slashing, the people full of holiday joy and winter depression, the radio saturated with Christmas music and charitable give-aways-- I love it!! However, I've never really had a man during Christmas...hmm, or any holiday, really lol. And whenever I get close to it, it ends in trifling disaster.
Christmas '04: I was long distance dating this thug dude from Philly while I was away at college. I thought I liked my men with that aggressive, ghetto appeal, but little did I know that sometimes ghetto doesn't mean edgey- it just means triflin. I grew so unattracted to him that when I came home for my winter break, I avoided calling or hanging out with him. 2 days before Christmas, he gave me some kind of ultimatum- I think it was either to travel to the hood to see him, or to just break things off. I wasn't riskin my bourgie life gettin to the projects alone, so I ended the fling and my chances at a Christmas gift.
Christmas '05: After my thug phase, suddenly I desired the opposite- a classy, intelligent, upwardly mobile young man. Ironically, I found him on A4a. A Caribbean undergrad at one of the most prestigious small liberal arts schools in the country, he ideally quenched my lust for West Indians and overachievers. As we progressed through the "talking" stage, our relationship was amusingly competitive and snarky, like most of my romantic dealings with men end up being. I thought things were cool...until on Christmas eve, after a silly back-and-forth on instant messenger, he replied, "You know what? Maybe I'm not man enough or smart enough or cute enough to ever satisfy you. Have a great life." As you can imagine, I was shocked and appalled...and traumatized. I was infuriated that he chose Xmas eve of all the nights to do this, tactlessly ruining my holiday. We're friends now, sometimes when I think about the nerve of him on that night...ugh!!
Chistmas '06: I aint have no man
And now, we come to Christmas 07: I have a boyfriend! ...Kind of. I am dating this Haitian guy (I still have a thing for West Indians) who's a chemical engineer(and for overachievers lol). We've known each other for a year, and we've been dating for about 6 months, albeit casually and without commitment. At first I hated our arrangement, but as my social life grows in fabulousness, I've grown to appreciate the freedom I have. He's kind of weird...but that's what I get for dating a nerd, huh? lol But his weirdness has extended to affect the sanctity of Christmas, and that's where I draw the line!!!
His birthday is on Christmas day. And because he regards it as HIS day, he doesn't believe in getting anyone any gifts. "Would you buy other people gifts on YOUR birthday?" he asked. "Your birthday is supposed to be the one day where all you do is receive."
...Yeah, is it just me, or is that line of reasoning totally weird? Not to mention a tad bit selfish and possibly even cheap. Is it that crucial that one's birthday be ALL about them and nobody else? Should I be offended that he's not getting me anything, even though he's receiving something from me?
I *do* feel obligated to get him something- I bought a Coach leather wallet and a 3 month-subscription to Netflix- because he fixed me an elaborate surprised birthday dinner from scratch. But part of me wonders...is he gettin away with murder on Christmas day?
posted by Manilow @ 6:04 PM
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