The Neurotic is back, bitches!!

Wow, in all my years of stalking people/reading blogs, I've never heard of someone taking a 2 year break from a blog, especially after making less than 5 entries lol. But then again, I'm one of a kind in my craziness and irrationality, as you will come to find out. Anyway, I'm back and here to stay, motivated by the exciting blogs of other Black queer men as well as my desire to vent about things I don't feel comfortable admitting to in the real world.

So when I left off, I had failed out of college, moved back home to the Philly region, and started lamenting my lack of work and life skills. I had never held a real job, cooked a pot of rice, nor had a real boyfriend. Here's how things have changed (and haven't changed) since then.

1. I got a job! Actually, I've had a few jobs. First, I worked at American Eagle, under the awful management of this bitter, Latino queen. It was my first job and yes I was kind of a mess, but this bitch snapped at me too many times for my liking. His totalitarian attitude, plus my inability to fold clothes (I told you I had no life skills) led me to quit that job in a hot 2 months.
Then I snagged a gig at a small Borders bookstore at the raggedy local mall. It was seasonal, I was clumsy, and umm let's just say I wasn't asked to return lol.
Then, I got this laughable job at a shady document imaging company. Sticking out like a Banana Republic-adorned sore thumb, I was surrounded by Trenton Bloods and Camden crack hoes as coworkers. And I'm not exaggerating; one of my coworkers asked me for crack money. It was a scary reminder of the kind of destitute existence I was possibly headed for without a college degree.

Now, I have another easy job, a clerical one at a medical laboratory. I have the most triflin work habits though; I would fire myself if I were them lol. But oh the hilarious blog posts that my job shall provide!

2. I went back to school! Well, to a community college. And then failed 2 classes lol. Ew, who does that?? Frustrated by my ADD and anxiety, I just stopped going to class, reminiscent of my experience at the University. But now, at 24, I realize the importance of obtaining a degree before I'm old and washed up. So I'm buckling down and takin courses at a different community college, with hopes of acing them and transferring somewhere respectable.

3. I am "dating" this guy, who I've been seeing since about June. However, the vagueness of our relationship and his chronic indifference towards me makes me feel uneasy. Still, I'm actually dating and meeting guys, quite a feat for a self-conscious prude like me lol. 2 years ago I was sure I'd be bitter, unattractive, and manless by this time. I consider my romantic life a small victory ;-)

So in conclusion, while my life has gone on, it's still kind of a mess. However, I'm alive and in good spirits enough to laugh about it, which is what I'll be doing a lot of in this blog. This blog is a grand experiment. It's an experiment to see if revealing all of my most closeted feelings, embarassing moments, and dirty laundry will be cathartic- or the cause of scandal(I'm prayin that no one I know will read this blog).

Moreover, it's the study of a mid-twenties Black gay male who has totally fucked his life up and has to start from scratch. Like, WHAT is going to happen to me?? I am dying to know, because I feel like I've fallen so unbelievably and hilariously low that I am just a stone's throw away from bein a crack whore lol. Everything- graduating college, having a writing career, movin out on my own, being involved in a real relationship with somebody smart, rich, and fine lol- seems like a pipe dream that is meant to be dreamed about but not achieved. However, for some reason, I'm still trying to move in that direction, just to see what happens. So will I pull off the greatest Cindarella story in all of the Black gay blogosphere? Or will I indeed become the first blogging crack whore? This is gonna be the best experiment ever!